Testimonial – Breast Augmentation 3

testimonial

I wanted to write a huge thanks to everyone involved in my recent surgical procedure.

I understand that it is rare to have breast surgery through the NHS and could even be phased out in the near future. So I consider myself to be extremely lucky. Having this surgery has changed my life in many different ways, I now feel, two months post operative, a totally different person. I would like to share with you exactly how grateful I am.

Before having my children I was, what I considered to be small chested, but I definitely had breasts. I was very confident in my own body and enjoyed life fully. At the age of 26 my husband and I had our first child. I enjoyed my daughter so much we wanted a brother or sister to complete our family. It was after having our second child and breast feeding him for eight months that my breasts got a lot smaller. Thinking back it was at this point that I became depressed about my body. My self confidence seemed to disappear. I stopped socialising as much and only went to the shops for clothing when it was necessary. I started to think about breast augmentation but knew I would never be able to finance it myself. I went to my doctors to enquire about it, only to be told that I could not get it done through the NHS, and to massage them as this was proven to encourage tissue growth. Although feeling very foolish, every evening I tried this until I realised it just would not work.

I love my husband dearly but loosing most of my breast was affecting our relationship intimately. Having breasts to me is part of being a woman, not having them left me feeling unfeminine, I felt like a boy. I didn?t want my husband to look at me as I would get embarrassed. I didn’t want him to touch me because I was disgusted at how ‘freakish’ I looked and would feel.

After thinking about it for some time I decided that I wanted another baby. Even although I don’t like to admit it, a huge reason for me wanting to get pregnant again was so that I was happy and confident in my own body. I remembered how my breasts grew during pregnancy and convinced myself that this time round there was the possibility that they might stay at a normal size after feeding. This might sound totally ridiculous but at the time I thought this to be a good idea.

Having our third child was not a mistake. He is a lovely boy and now completes our family. But my plan did not work. The exact opposite happened and all my breast tissue literally disappeared. Now I was at my lowest. I had what I felt was a deformality. I would cry, get angry and hate myself for looking like such a freak. I wondered why my husband wanted to stay with me when there were normal women out there with breasts. I felt like a pre pubescent teenager. I had to use breast enhancers in my 32AA bra to give me any sort of shape. They would stick to my skin if I got too hot, they itched horribly and had a terrible smell. However I simply could not go out without them. I had to wear tops with a high neck line which was okay in the winter but come the summer you can’t get away with a polo neck! My two youngest children have never been in to a swimming pool, the thought of my breast enhancers falling out in the water was enough to put me off and there was absolutely no chance I would go without.

Again, feeling that someone might be able to help me I went the doctors once more. I was told that they could refer me to a surgeon but I would have to fund the operation myself. I was in despair, but something made me try once more. I just felt that maybe if a doctor was actually willing to listen fully or even to actually look at the fact that I had absolutely no breasts, there might be a chance that they would help me take it further. I was so frustrated because it wasn’t that I wanted to enlarge my breasts to a DD cup. I wasn’t one of the girls that wanted huge breasts, I just wanted breasts! In my eyes it was a visual deformality. If you are born with larger than normal ears the NHS will offer you treatment to resolve the problem, as it can be very distressing to have something that is visually different to the norm. I felt exactly the same. A part of me was completely different than the norm, a part of my female identity. Sometimes I would try and convince myself that it was only my breasts, things could be a lot worse and to love myself the way I was. But the fact still remained that I didn’t just have smallish boobs I had no boobs.

However I couldn’t believe it when the interim doctor I saw phoned me at home to tell me that he would refer me to a doctor at Dumfries Infirmary. This was to be the first step to achieving happiness.

I am sure you know the process I went through after that initial doctor’s appointment. A year and half later I am a totally different person. I still feel as if I am walking on air and the luckiest person alive. My confidence has definitely returned and I feel totally complete. The clouds have cleared and the old Eleanor has returned. My husband has commented on my new tall posture, I wasn’t aware of how stooped I had become. Every person has something they don’t like about their bodies, for example I think my thighs are a bit skinny, but it is a small niggle, absolutely nothing like losing my breasts, as that was part of my female identity. Since the operation I have had a couple of nights out which I thoroughly enjoyed, I was even caught dancing, something I would have shyed away from before. Clothes shopping is a thrill and my kids can’t wait for mummy to take them to the swimming pool. And the bedroom, well yes my confidence has definitely returned!

The night before my surgery I was extremely nervous. I had my family to think about, but I just knew I had to go through with it. All the staff that took care of me were absolutely fantastic! As soon as I booked myself in to the ward I was made to feel at ease. I knew straight away I was in good hands. Everyone was so thorough, checking details again and again. A lovely nurse was assigned to look after me. She was super! Calm, caring and consistent. The anaesthetist was lovely, she knew I was nervous but her calmness and understanding automatically made me feel happier. All the staff in the pre/ post operative ward were also super. Everyone from the porter to the surgeon were extremely caring, I admire their professionalism. As for the surgeon, I will never know how he does his job but he definitely does it well. I am delighted at the results; in fact I don’t think I could be happier! I will always be grateful to him.

I have huge thanks to everyone involved in helping me get to where I am now. And a special thanks to Mr Vadodaria. He has changed my life. I just hope that girls, who are at present going through the pain that I went through, will be lucky enough to receive the help that I got.

Forever grateful